I SHIP IT

Hell no. That's my boyfriend's best friend and that's tacky.

Masq.

Spoiler

The Miracle Of The Honey Badger

Jesse hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a hoard of angry giraffes who have hormone imbalances. He loathed it.

Every December, Jesse would feel himself getting all hot inside. He refused to put up a Christmas penis, he snapped at anyone horny enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Jesse had to go to the mall to buy a chocolatey dick. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing happily around and so much Christmas music blaring huskily, he thought his anus would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a Sexy man collecting for charity. Jesse never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the Sexy man dropped his bells and ran in bed. There was a steamy honey badger right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the Sexy man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Jesse rushed out and hungrily pushed them both out of the way. There was a wet bang and then everything went dark.

When Jesse woke up, he was in a tasty room. There was a Christmas penis in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Jesse's vagina hurt. A lot.

The Sexy man came into the room. "I'm so hard!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Justin. You saved me from the truck. But your vagina is broken."

Jesse hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas penis up and his vagina was broken, he felt quite delicious, especially when he looked at Justin.

"Your vagina must hurt dreamily," Justin said. "I think this will help." And he fucked Jesse several times. 

Now Jesse felt very delicious indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Justin. "I love you," he said, and kissed Justin sexily.

"I love you too," said Justin. Just then, the honey badger ran into the room and nuzzled Jesse's penis. "I brought him home with us," Justin said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Jesse said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.

 

go to muddy~

 

Elegante

 

Cole

 

Idk. Dark? Because your both Tech Admins?

 

omfg i've been playing this game completely wrong

i'm going to go lynch myself in shame

i ship you with Rose because I can

 

No idea who you are. So, Masq. <3

 

You are totally jumping into bed with Jonno.

 

tyranaranaran~

 

Sole

 

I see you with Espy for some reason.

 

I'm gonna have to say Shadow

 

Sole

 

Sole's left hand.

 

eebby~

 

Starr.

 

ima throw you at kuda :3

 

Nyumi might be a good partner for you.