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Jokes Thread

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Conjectures' started by Nyumi 413, Oct 25, 2011.

  1. Remember to spoiler any that have, to quote the Tipper sticker, "explicit content".

    ____________________________________________________

    What's the difference between a taxi and Manchester United?
    The taxi only lets five in.

    Vista is Rio Ferdinand's OS of choice - it matches his speed.

    Male City fan: Wanna have sex?
    Female United fan: ...
    Male City fan: How about six in a row?
    Female United fan: No way! I'm not getting fucked six times over again!

    The odds on United losing again are 6/1.


     
    #1 Nyumi 413, Oct 25, 2011 at 7:54 AM
  2. what did the two oceans say to each other?

    nothing. they just waved.
     
    #2 Eebit, Oct 25, 2011 at 9:16 PM
  3. What is green and has wheels?

    Grass, I lied about the wheels.
     
    #3 Vero, Oct 25, 2011 at 9:57 PM
  4. ^ Ough, that's OLD. >.<
    And from Archie comics. XD

    ^ Also from Archie~

     
    #4 Zygardia, Oct 26, 2011 at 10:00 AM
  5. On one hot, summer day, three friends were all trapped on the same isolated, and tiny island. There was one brunette, one redhead, and a blonde.

    One day, while the three girls were scavenging for food, they had uncovered a mystical, golden lamp. The brunette wiped away the grime from the lamp, and out came a mysterious and magical genie.

    "I shall grant each of you one wish," the genie spoke.

    "I wish I was back home," the brunette said, and the genie magically sent her home.

    The redhead, following in the brunette's lead said, "I wish I was home as well." The genie then sent her home.

    Finally it was the blonde's turn, and by that point she had already begun to miss her pals, so the blonde said to the genie, "I wish my friends were here!"
     
    #5 Flamezone, Oct 27, 2011 at 6:49 AM
  6. Speaking of which!

     
    #6 Zygardia, Oct 27, 2011 at 9:21 AM
  7. Here's a VERY racy one.

    Mariah Yeater is a liar - there's no way in hell that Bieber's wang is big enough to get inside her - or anyone else, for that matter.
     
    #7 Nyumi 413, Nov 5, 2011 at 5:04 AM
  8. Did I tell you the joke about the really tall brick wall?
    I better not you might not get over it.

    Did I tell you the joke about the jump rope?
    Skip it.

    Did I tell you the joke about a fart?
    It stinks.
     
    #8 SecretWeapon, Nov 5, 2011 at 4:19 PM
  9. Have you ever heard the joke they don't tell gay people?



    (Yes, I love one-liner jokes)
     
    #9 The Kakuzato, Nov 6, 2011 at 5:48 AM
  10. ^ Didn't get that, Nateywatey.

     
    #10 Zygardia, Nov 6, 2011 at 9:20 AM
  11. Think about it. If you haven't heard the joke, that means that you haven't been told the joke that they don't tell gay people. The joke can be changed to anything such as stupid people, boys, girls, black people, Mexicans, or whatever other things you can think of.
     
    #11 The Kakuzato, Nov 6, 2011 at 7:43 PM
  12. Example: Have you heard the joke the don't tell aliens=You are an alien if you haven't.
     
    #12 Electro, Nov 7, 2011 at 2:03 PM
  13. *facepalm* Aaaah. XD I can be... slow at times.
     
    #13 Zygardia, Nov 8, 2011 at 10:54 AM
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