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da keepur of havok n hel

Discussion in 'Спам Oстров' started by CerberusLycan, Jun 15, 2015.

  1. *sunny day in hell*
    hades: muh cerbus you must go guard the gates to da underworld nao
    cerbus: hades sama sir can i play some binding of isaac before I derp the thing
    hades: no
    cerbus: ;-;

    *while later*
    cerbus: hades sama sir i gdaurded da gates to da underwurl
    hades: cerbus how many greek heroez did you let in today
    cerbus: i didn let in any geek huroes sir
    hades: ...
    cerbus: ...
    hades: you're sure?
    cerbus: yus sir only ded soles
    hades: well good. nao u hav to help orthus with his homework
    cerbus: ;-;
    achilles: *slices hades' head off in surprise attack*

    *next day in hell, little bit humid*
    hades: cerbus quit licking urself and go defeat some spiky-haired shounen
    cerbus: i was going to spend some time with typoon today
    hades: no
    cerbus: ;-;

    *while later*
    hades: *stares into pot of servants' souls. cerbus is swimmin inside*
    hades: the shounen protag vanquished u didnt he
    cerbus: i don kno wat ur talkin bout
    hades: cerbus.
    cerbus: okay he pulled some power of frendship shit im sorry sir
    hads: u literally have three heads don't sir me get outa there and finish him off
    cerbus: ;-;
    pit: HADES!

    *next day in hell, raining blood cats and blood dogs*
    hades: cerbus u need two stop messin up
    hades: its like u have three heads an no brainz
    cerbus: im sorry sir but the third head is bad.
    cerbus third head: :S
    cerbus: an the secn head havta surpres him
    cerbus secn head: I want to fucking die.
    cerbus: so its actally jus me
    lernaean hydra: bro do you even lift
    cerbus: ;-;

    *while later, feels of assfodel*
    cerbus: an i jus dont know wut too do, u know sissy face?
    sissy face: *struggles with boulder*
    cerbus: i dont know hao ta becom good dog
    sissy face: *dry heaves*
    cerbus: smtimes it fels as advers as liek tryin to walk uphill
    cerbus: while pushin somethin hevy
    cerbus: u know sissy face?
    sissy face: *groans as muscles start giving out*
    cerbus: wait i know i'll jus ask big brudder chimera
    cerbus: he'll help me
    cerbus: thx sissy face
    sissy face: *screams as gets crushed by rock*

    *montage speed later*
    cerbus: big broder chimera i hav come to u
    chimera: cerbus wat u want
    cerbus: i wanna get good
    chimera: cerbus ta git gud u havta do some quests
    cerbus: like what ;-;
    chimera: u havta do some quests liek stealin persephone's panties
    cerbus: wat
    chimera: it make u moar powerful
    cerbus: ;-;

    *nighttiem in hell. sitzens fall aslep peacefuly to screams of tortur*
    cerbus: *outside persephone's chamber*
    cerbus: i hope persephone doesn waek up
    cerbus: *sneaks in*
    cerbus: *finds dresser*
    cerbus: ok feminin undrgarmints should be here.
    cerbus third head: hurrrrr ;)
    persephone: *wakes up* cerbus wat u doin
    cerbus: oh shit im screwd
    cerbus: secn head wat do i do
    cerbus secn head: Quit being such a screw up, Cerbus.
    cerbus: ;-;
    persephone: cerbus.
    cerbus: persephomione am sorry was lookin for ur panties
    persephone: cerbus thats gross.
    cerbus: pls maam i need them to git gud
    cerbus: so hades will tell me good dog
    cerbus: its all i want
    persephone: cerbus thats adorable
    persephone: okay here take panties
    persephone: and be good dog.
    cerbus: thnk persephepephone

    *dawn of next day in hell*
    cerbus: chimera im back i got perseponie's panties.
    chimera: ok good. hand them here
    cerbus: *hands*
    chimera: *laughs evilly*
    cerbus: big broder chimera??
    chimera: oh littl cerbus, you fool
    chimera: now i have what i want
    chimera: and you hav nuthing
    cerbus: onii chan wat r u talkin bout
    cerbus secn head: He fucking tricked you, Cerbus.
    chimera: i used u two git persephone's panties
    chimera: u fgt
    chimera: youll never git gud
    cerbus: ;-;
    cerbus: chimera that was mean
    chimera: lol dont care
    cerbus: big brother i trusted u
    cerbus: now wat do i do
    cerbus secn head: Beat his lying ass, Cerbus.
    chimera: ROFL! as if
    cerbus: secn head ur rite
    cerbus: if we beat chimera
    cerbus: we git gud
    cerbus third head: :p
    cerbus: cerbus three heads activate
    cerbus: TRIPLE BRIMSTONE BARRAGE!
    cerbus: *looses devstating red lazors from each head*
    chimera: AAAAAAGH!!!
    cerbus: i fucking did it eat my shit

    *while later, at hades castle*
    cerbus: hades sama sir!
    hades: cerbus where hav u been.
    cerbus: hades sama sir i got gud!
    cerbus: i beat chimera!
    hades: cerbus wtf
    cerbus: arent u goin to call me good dog???
    hades: no
    cerbus: ;-;
    hades: now go guard da gates to teh underworld
    cerbus: ok ;-;
    heracles: *stabs hades in a surprise attack*
     
    Eebit likes this.
  2. I already liked the post, but I'll comment too-

    Best tale ever.
    Cerbus/Persephomione, I ship it, go get em tiger wolfy
     

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