Quakernuts

What this? A box? Who puts a box in other boxes now a days?! This is the most confuzzling thing since I saw a rhino making out with the Washington monument saying 'my, what a lovely horn you have there Mother Earth'.

It was weird ok, don't question it.

Well let's see, this is a new place to be! I don't know many people here, and if you're reading this you must be a very curious person. So curious in fact you had to click on my sexy and completely ambiguous name to get here. So you have spent the effort of a few mouse clicks in order to read this wonderfully typed out biography of me detailing...

What a bloody stalker you are.

Yes you! Oh don't go acting all insulted now Mr./Ms. Stalker pants person thing! You know you came in here to get dirt on me, and I will tell you that is incorrect! It is not dirt...IT IS FRESHLY FERTILIZED SOIL!

I seem to have gotten off topic. What was this about again? Something about a bio...bio chemistry...biology...BIO METRIC SCAN! That's it, we're doing a survey of all the harmful shit that could potentially be in your body, starting with that brain of yours.

Why your brain you might ask? Why it's quite simple my dear chum.

You're still reading this. So obviously there must be something wrong with you.

Now do everyone a favor, turn off the computer, run outside, find the nearest ice cream truck, ask for an ice cream sandwhich, hop a flight, come to Canada, find me hunched over my computer like some little goblin with syphilis, and present to me on one knee the ice cream sandwich like it was fucking excalibur!

Ok, maybe it's not for everyone's sake, but GET ME A DAMN ICE CREAM SANDWICH!

Quaker! OUT!