Novel Writers?

I write novels and I wanted to see if anyone liked my work and if anyone was also a writer.  So here is chapter one of my main work Equalius.

Warning: Some Content of this story might not be suitable for all ages.  Read at your own risk.

Chapter 1: The meeting​

Running away her heart racing trying to flee from the terrors chasing her she does not dare look back in fear of seeing something horrible.  Then she hears someone calling her name “Sarah, Sarah it’s time to wake up.  Come on wake up we’re going to be late for school.”

It was a crystal clear, bright blue sky morning, and as always her friend Fang had woken her up to go to school.  His real name wasn’t Fang, it was Kyle but his friends called him Fang because of his abnormally large canine teeth that made it look like he had fangs protruding from his gums.

As usual, on the way to school they went over to their friend Calliope’s house to pick her up.  Calliope has a twin sister named Rose that also goes to their school, but she always argues with her sister.  The reason she hates Calliope is because Calliope was born two minutes before Rose and she does not like that.  The main reason why something like that would bug Rose is because she likes to be the center of attention.
They went up to the door and knocked.  The door opened slightly and Rose peered out at them.  “CALLIOPE YOUR STUPID FRIENDS ARE HERE.”  She yelled.

“Don’t call my friends stupid,” Calliope said

A second later Rose had stopped looking out at them and Calliope walked out wearing a cherry red summer dress and angel wing shaped earrings

“Hi guys,” She said in her usual chipper and friendly voice.  A voice way different from the voice she used when talking to Rose.  “How are you guys today?”

“Good,” They said in unison, then they started laughing.
“We should get going,” said Sarah “We’re going to be late.”
When they got to school they saw with Tod, a class bully who liked to beat up fang.  Tod was a heavy built kid that stood about 6 feet 4 inches tall.  He usually wore all camo, but today he had a black t-shirt. 

“Just keep walking and he probably won’t notice us,” Sarah said, but Tod did notice them and came lumbering up to them.
“Hey Peewee where’s my lunch money and don’t give me half of it like you did last time” Tod said.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Fang said in the calmest voice he could manage.

“Don’t play dumb with me peewee you know the routine now give me your lunch money now, or I'll rearrange your face for no extra charge,” Tod said.

“Hey, leave him alone you meat head, or I’ll get on your ass, do I make my self clear,” said Calliope

That’s when Tod noticed that Calliope was standing there.  He started muttering apologies and walking away slowly.  Then he scrambles away.

“Tod is so annoying.  Thanks Calliope I owe you one,” Fang said.

“No problem, if that meat head ever gives you trouble just let me know, I’ll kick his butt for you” She replied.
“Hey we should get to class now or we’re going to be late” said Sarah.

So they started to walk in the front door when Fang stopped when he saw a glint out of the corner of his eye.  He looked around but couldn’t find anything that could have been the source of the glint he had just seen.  So he shrugged his shoulders and kept walking.  Then he saw another glint on the other side of him so again he turned and again he saw nothing that could have been the source of the glint.  So he just shrugged again and kept walking.  By now him, Sarah, and Calliope were the only souls in the hallway.  Fang looked down at the floor but then looked up when he saw another glint.  This one was right in front of him and when he looked up he thought he saw a creature standing in front of him but when he rubbed his eyes it was gone.  So he just shook his head, "I’m seeing things" he told himself and kept walking.  He could hear Sarah and Calliope talking right next to him but they sounded so far away.  His head was spinning, he was getting dizzy.  Everything was so confusing, which way was up again he couldn’t tell.  Then a drop of water hit the top of his head and he looked up and saw it.  The thing that had been making the glints, a weird creature hanging from the ceiling holding a sword in it’s hand and looking down at him.  It looked absolutely horrific and deformed and it seemed to be staring at him with its beady glazed eyes.  Then it lunged straight for him sword raised ready to attack.  There was no way he could have dodge an attack like that, the thing lunging at him was moving at an incredible speed.  Then the most miraculous thing happened, a spear flew out of nowhere and hit the creature directly knocking it off course as it fell to the ground nearby with the spear still stuck in its wound.  Fang turned to see who had thrown the spear.  It had been the new kid that came to their school recently.
“Hey are you all right,” the kid said in a calm yet chilling voice that stood your neck hairs on end.  He stood about 6 feet tall and wore a jacket that had a tall collar so you couldn’t see his mouth or nose, Boots tucked under his pants legs, snowboarder gloves, and really baggy black pants with so many pockets Fang couldn’t count them all.  The kid went over to where the creature laid squirming and tried to take the spear out of its stomach.  “Go back to hell where you belong” said the kid.  He then pulled out the spear and slammed it back down on the creature’s head.  There was no blood the creature just evaporated into a black fog when it died.

“What was that thing, and who are you?” asked Fang while Calliope and Sarah were staring with horror glazed eyes.
“That was a demon, and as for me, you can call me Ritz,” said the kid.

“Did you say that thing was a demon?” asked calliope.
“Yes and more of them are appearing on the surface world which means I’m running out of time,” said Ritz.
“Running out of time for what?” asked Sarah
“A mortal like you would not understand,” said Ritz.  While saying this he turned to look at the three people standing before him.  As he looked from one to the other his look of anger and hatred turned to shock and horror.  “Could you people are the ancient prophets?”

“What are you talking about prophets?” Fang asked.
“Nothing, if you will excuse me, I am late for class,” Ritz said as he walked past them and down the hall towards class.
The day continued normally as if nothing had happened that morning.  The bell rang and school was out for the day.  Sarah, Calliope, and Fang walked home together just like any other day despite what happened, and all three of them acted like nothing did.  But that fantasy was short lived.

The next day Sarah was woken up to the voice of Fang like every other day.  They went to pick up Calliope and they walked to school together like they did every day.  They got to school and like always Tod saw Fang and came lumbering over.
“Where is my money peewee?” said Tod.

Calliope was about to stick up for Fang when Tod threw a punch at him but the most shocking thing happened.  Ritz jumped in front of the punch and caught it in one hand without even flinching.  “If you ever try to hurt one of these three people again I will make every second of your life a living hell,” Ritz said calmly.  Then he took Tod by the hand he was still clutching and threw him over the top of his head and into the wall of the school.

Fang, Sarah, and Calliope were all three too surprised and shocked by what they had just seen to utter even the smallest word.  Finally Calliope broke the silence “what the hell was that?”

“What do you mean what the hell was that, I just saved your friend Fang and instead of a thank you I get a what the hell was that!?”

Calliope looked guiltily at the ground not realizing what she had said was in and of itself just plain rude.  “I’m sorry I didn’t mean that,” She said softly with tears in her eyes.  “I have always had a short temper and blurt out things without thinking,” She said as she started crying.

Before anyone could blink, Ritz was upon her.  He wiped away her tears.  “Don’t cry, everything is all right, you have nothing to fear, I will protect you” Ritz said in a voice so soft it sounded like the wind had carried away his words the moment they left his lips.  “You three should meet me after school at the edge of the forest,” he said.  Then he walked off.

So they went through the school day curiously waiting for the end of the day to come.


If you like my work I am going to try to get it published. So if you know a publisher I can go to or if you liked it and want to talk more about Equalius you can contact me at one of the contacts below.


adonisbasalisk@gmail.com
Adam Gates on Facebook
or
651-724-2488


Thank you for taking the time to read my work and I hope I get some positive feedback.

E: Fixed the ugly formatting bugs that pasting from Word throws.

 

Thanks for the insight man, I'll keep that in mind.