Digimon Fanfic

So, as the tile says, this is a Digimon fanfic. Also, this is My first fanfic. I do not mind criticism, so long as it is constructive. Name is still in the works. (By the way, how do you make an indent to start each paragraph?)

Day 1​

Thane ran for the bus stop, hoping he wasn't the last one there. It was his first day in a new school, and he had to make a good impression. As he reached the stop, he saw no one else there. It was 5 to 8, and no one was there, when the bus came at 8. He looked around, wondering if he had missed something, and noticed a clock tower. 5 to 7. He realized his watch was still on his old timezone. He was an entire hour early.
He started walking home, checking the time on his phone. He set his watch back, then noticed he had a text. He looked at it, and all it said was 'Don't leave.' The number was gibberish, but he had a sudden feeling of someone watching him. He looked around, and noticed a flash in an alleyway. But before he could check it out, a bus showed up, as if to pick up school kids, except it was completely black, unlike a regular yellow one. The door opened, and the driver was a man dressed as a vampire.
He said, “Welcome aboard. You're Thane, if I'm not mistaken?”
“Ummm, how do you kn-know my n-n-name? And where d-does this b-bus go?” Thane stammered, a little creeped out by the man, yet he had a feeling that he wasn't in any immediate danger.
“This bus will take you where you need to be. If you know the password.”
“Look, I really need to go to school, so I can't get on your bus, even if I wanted to.” Thane's phone suddenly beeped, indicating he had received a message. He read it and it was from the same gibberish number, saying, 'Aguni'.
“Oh, don't worry. You'll be there.” The driver looked in the rear view mirror, and Thane looked the way he was looking. He saw himself walking home, oblivious to the bus, or the fact that he was still there.
“Umm, I'm me, and I'm here, so how am I over there too? Why are there two mes? And you still didn't explain to me how you know my name.”
“Look I'll explain everything to you once you tell me the password and get on the bus.”
“Would the password be 'Aguni'?” Thane asked, boarding the black bus. “Now, tell me what you know.
“Correct,” the driver said. “I am Myotismon. I used to be the biggest bad boy of the Digital World, then some upstart kids beat me, and, long story short, I now transport you trainees to the School. I know who you are, because I need to know when and where to pick you up, and who I'm picking up. Today, it was you: A scrawny 14 year old with black hair and goggles. And the two yous thing is simple. We need you trained, but you still need to be at home and school. So we make a double, and have them do what you would, and when you're done at the School, we merge your consciousness'. And don't even ask about the double, I don't know where it comes from.”
Thane tried to understand this, but had so many questions. He decided to start with, “What's the School?”
“The School is where you'll be taught all you need to know to become a Digidestined, where you'll meet your Digimon, and where you'll leave for the Digital World for.”
“Next, what is all this 'Digi' stuff?”
“Ah yes. The Digital World was a by-product of your world's telecommunications systems. Within it live Digimon, like myself, who are in essence code, but that does not mean we are not real, no, we are very much alive, just in a different way then yourselves. And lastly, a Digidestined was originally someone who became linked to a Digimon, and therefore was able to pass between our world and theirs. Usually they saved the world from Digimon like me, but sometimes they just lived day to day, except they had a Digimon partner who helped them with things. By Digimon like me, I mean evil Digimon, though I am no longer evil. Nowadays, Digidestined are people chosen by the council to come to the School, usually based on the person's IQ, abilities, and possible preexisting links to the Digital world.”
“Wait, how would they know my IQ?”
“You answered an e-mail containing an IQ test from a company called DIGI. One of the School's many fronts. We look through government required assessments, and the highest scoring students are chosen for followups. We've been monitoring you for a year, and today was the day they decided you were ready. So, here I am.
Thane sat in his seat, wondering what else they knew about him. The remainder of the bus ride was spent in silence, until finally Myotismon stopped the bus, and Thane got off, seeing an abandoned sanitarium.
“This is the School?” he asked, before realizing the bus was already gone.
Thane walked up the steps, and a cheerful young woman opened the door.
“Please tell me you're a person, not a Digimon.”
“Of course I am. Myotismon is the only Digimon employed to take part in the recruitment process. First, we need to take your goggles, and put on this shirt.”
Thane took off his goggles, which were his trademark, and put on a white t-shirt with a red upside down triangle, with three smaller black triangles around it. He followed the woman into the building, and saw a bunch of other kids, between 14 and 18, wearing different t-shirts. There were blues, greens, purples, blacks, reds, pinks, oranges, and yellows. Each had a different symbol on it, each symbol matched to the colour of the shirt. Also, all the oranges had goggles similar to his, which made him feel like a copycat.
“The entrance exam has three parts: a physical challenge, a written test, and a practical assessment. The physical part is simple, so you will have the rest of today, after you finish the physical part, to study for the written test. The day after, we will give you your practical assessment. Until the time that you have been graded for the exam, you will only wear the white shirt. You also may not talk to anyone except people wearing civilian clothing, like myself. After, you will be given a brown shirt, until you have been sorted into one of the crest colours. After this, you will eat, sleep, learn, and train with the rest of your crest. Now, follow me to the physical challenge.”
Thane followed the woman through a series of corridors, and was surprised to find that their destination was very close to the entrance.
“Why did we take such a complicated route,” he asked, “when we could have just taken the third left from the entrance?”
“I'm surprised you noticed that. It's to stop you from running off and leaving before we finish the exam. If you leave wearing that shirt, a Garurumon will hunt you down and bring you back, and no one wants that, as it's a giant wolf Digimon.” she said, with a little hollow chuckle.
Thane gulped, as she opened the door. He gulped again, seeing that there was no floor for the first 15 feet of the hallway.
“How am I supposed to cross that?” he asked, feeling like a fish out of water.
“You should figure it out pretty quickly, otherwise you shouldn't have been admitted.”
Thane looked over the edge, and saw the back of his head looking down. He looked up, and saw the back of his head looking up. He reached into the space, and felt nothing, but when he reached below the floor, he saw his hand dangling above him. He sat at the edge of the doorway, his feet hanging over the ledge, and saw his feet overhead. He decided to take a leap of faith, and he launched himself into the void below. He saw the doorway pass over and over, and saw the woman smiling. He grabbed the ledge, and surprisingly he stopped, his body dangling above him. He hauled himself in the doorway, before jumping out into the void, using his momentum to land on the other side, rather than get stuck partway across.
He saw the woman walk through a hidden doorway next to him, and she said, “Good, now finish the course.”
Ahead of him was something out of a video game. There were jets of fire, swinging axes, and holes in the wall that darts could get shot through. Next to him, he saw a sword on the ground. He saw an inscription on the blade. It read 'Even the most powerful illusion is still just that. An illusion. Remember this, and you will be fine.'
He thought he knew what it meant, but he didn't feel like taking chances. He took a flip-book from his pocket, and threw it into a jet of flame. It fell to the floor, unharmed. He walked towards it, a smirk on his face, as another jet turned on next to him. He felt no heat, and walked through the corridor, to the end. There was another door, which he entered, or rather, exited, as it led him outside. He saw a massive obstacle course.
From a hidden loudspeaker, he heard, “Now it's real. Don't try any 'it's an illusion' crap. You'll die.”
He looked at the first obstacle: A cargo net which had to be free climbed. He got half way up, when he looked down. He was already twenty feet off the ground. He started to feel dizzy, and almost fainted, except for a mosquito that bit his leg. He finished the climb, thanking no one in particular for that bug.
Next he had to cross a wooden beam suspended over empty space. He realized it was wide enough for him to crawl along, so he did just that. He made it to the other side, where a man in climbing gear gave him a harness and some rope.
“Hook yourself to the overhead clip, and hop across those boards.”
"Good, a challenge."
The boards he referred to were planks of wood about the width of the beam he had just crossed, suspended from an over head system of ropes that created a massive web. On the web were also clips to tie himself to. He tied himself to a clip, and leaped to the first board, a good meter away. He realized his clip couldn't go any further, so he used his second rope to tie himself to a new clip, and continued his crossing.
He finally got across, and now had to climb a ladder onto the web, and cross it using the clips. He made his way across the web, but slipped at one point and fell, hanging from his harness and the clip. He barely pulled himself back onto the web, and went extra carefully to the end.
He finally was at the last 'obstacle'. It was a massive slide that led to the base, across from where he started. There, he met up with the woman from before, and she led him to a bedroom, where he could study for the test tomorrow. It was a simple space, with a bed, a desk and chair with a lamp, and a door to the side leading to a bathroom. He studied a little, but ended up asleep on the bed, as he couldn't concentrate.

 

Okay, so I looked through and saw my mistakes, thanks. And I think part of why it seemed rushed to you, was because of the way I wrote it. I wrote it so it was his perspective, but still in the third person, and the way it happens is it's all rushed, so it wouldn't be written similarly. Also, I don't write very much. I also attempted to fix the lack of personality, but that may need to wait longer till it can be rectified.